Whether it ended on a good or bad note, getting over your ex still sucks. It’s no easy task, but we all have to do it in order to move on and find a newer, deeper love. There’s a lot to learn from a past relationship but you can’t dwell on it all. Here are some ideas to help you get over your ex and move on to the next chapter in your life.
1. Accept what happened.
Come to turns with the ending of your relationship. Reflect on the entire relationship and separate your feelings from the facts. Surely there are positive aspects you can take away from it, but it is also important to remember the negative things and the flaws that caused the relationship to fail. Instead of focusing on what you will miss, think about what you won’t miss. It’s so easy to remember all the good memories and we oftentimes block out the bad ones. Pull the bad ones up from the back of your mind and remember them, too. There was a reason you broke up and it probably didn’t happen overnight.
2. It’s ok to be sad.
For a little while at least. Let it out and express your emotions. If you keep it all in, it could end up coming out later… at the wrong time and place. Come to terms with your emotions and accept the hurt that you may be feeling.
3. Let it all go.
Although at the beginning you may feel like you’re still in the relationship, it’s important to try to start breaking habits. Be free and single. There are so many things you can do now that you couldn’t in a relationship. And you probably have much more time on your hands to do so.
4. Look into the future.
It’s not going to do you any good thinking about how things could have been different. Woulda, coulda, shoulda. It’s over and done with and you can’t change the past no matter how many times you replay it in your head. The possibilities that lie ahead of you are endless. Embrace the unknown and what’s to come.
5. Make time for yourself.
Spend a little time getting to know yourself again. You’ve spent so much time depending on your ex, that maybe you’ve lost a piece of yourself. Stay busy and challenge yourself. Sign up for something new that you’ve always wanted to do. Make new memories and lifestyle changes. Establishing a new routine that doesn’t make you think of your ex all day is crucial. Do what you love, what makes you happy.
6. Lean on your friends and family.
Surround yourself with your loved ones and talk it out. Sometimes just saying things out loud helps you move on. Put our feelings into words. And once you start listening to yourself speaking, maybe you’ll realize that things weren’t as great as you thought they were. Your friends and family love you, and their brutal honesty may seem unnecessary at times, but they are just trying to help you. Remember that.
7. Touch up your look.
Spend a day at the spa or go get your hair done. Pamper yourself some, you deserve it. Breakups are hard and stressful. Take some time to unwind and destress. If you look good, you usually feel good. Feel the good inside you again and build your confidence.
8. Be active.
Get in the gym. Sign up for a pilates or hot yoga class. Go for a hike. You don’t have to run miles upon miles but get some sweat going. The endorphins produced by working out will truly help to boost your mood. Try and spend time in nature, breath in the fresh air and appreciate everything around you.
9. Avoid communication with your ex.
With social networks and news feeds, sometimes it hard to completely cut them out of your life. Edit your feed notifications. Although you may think you like seeing what they are up to, it is not helping with the process of moving on. If necessary, unfriend your ex. You can always go back and add them again once you feel more emotionally prepared to have them in your life as your ex. No texting either. Really try to focus on your life without them.
10. Don’t rush into something new.
You may think a new relationship is just what you need to get over your ex, but that may not be fair to the other person or to you. Rebounds rarely work out and just end up causing more pain for all parties involved. Take your time with things, there is no urgent need to move on to the next person or jump into a steady relationship. Be single for a while and be happy doing it.
11. Try online dating sites.
Explore the world of online dating. If you’ve been out of the loop for a while, look into how to get back into the dating scene. Many of the apps and websites have different purposes of dating. Consider what you are looking for and give a few a try. It won’t hurt to explore!
12. Be open to love.
After the emotional roller coaster of getting over you ex, don’t let that deflated feeling block new feelings with new people. Spend time getting to know new people and let the little butterflies of love excite you. You can’t live your life in fear of a broken heart. Learn to love again and love with your whole heart.