Ah, flirting. It’s a process that’s as old as humans are, yet we still haven’t quite mastered it. While some are better than others, it’s also an act that changes with modern society. You can do your hair perfectly, have a great sense of style and smell good, but if you don’t know how to flirt, your dates are probably ending quite disastrously. You don’t want to go overboard and seem desperate, but at the same time too little flirting can seem like you’re not interested at all. So, how do you know what the right amount of flirting is? By following these simple tips, you can learn how to flirt without being too obvious, while still leaving a lasting impression.

Make strong eye contact.
When you imagine a girl flirting, she’s got her head down with a bashful look on her face, occasionally looking up at her date with blinking eyes. While that may have been cute in the past, it doesn’t give off any strong signs and could really confuse your date more than anything.

Look them straight in their eyes with a sly smile. Maintain the eye contact for a little bit longer than you are comfortable with. When you think it’s been long enough, stare some seconds more. Eye contact creates an unexplainable intimacy between you and another person. If there is chemistry there between the two of you, neither of you will feel uncomfortable.

This method of flirting also works to grab the attention of someone you haven’t yet met. Perhaps you’ve seen someone from across the room that caught your eye. Don’t go out of your way to get their attention, but if you happen to be looking at each other at the same time, maintain the eye contact. We oftentimes have the habit of looking away quickly, but if we want to get to know someone, we should smile and look at them from wherever you are.

Ask questions.
We are living in a narcissistic world where people love to talk about themselves and take selfies all the time. Show interest in your date by asking thought-provoking questions that go beyond the basics. You can even prepare some of these questions in advance and pull them out at times when the conversation seems to have dulled down a bit. There should be a feeling of give and take on a date. Neither one of you should be talking more than the other, and each one of you asking your own questions to keep the flow of the conversation going.

Really listen to what they have to say.
You can ask questions all night if you want, but if you don’t listen to what your date is saying, they won’t appreciate your effort of making questions. Don’t you hate it when someone asks you something and you can tell they are either thinking about what they are going to say next?
It’s very obviously when someone isn’t listening to you and the feeling is quite frustrating. Show your date that you are a great person to have conversations with and you are interested in getting to know them.

Make soft, physical contact.
Touching their forearm or hand is a great way to flirt with your date. Find a moment in the conversation where you feel like the two of you have really connected and lightly touch their forearm. This creates a feeling of safety and trust between the two of you. Like the eye contact, it also creates a feeling of flirty intimacy that’s great while getting to know someone better.

Prepare a joke to tell.
There’s nothing wrong with being a little cheesy. No matter how bad the joke, the two of you will end of laughing, or smiling at the very least!

Tell them something personal.
Be confident in sharing something with them that you don’t just tell anyone. It shows a level of vulnerability that creates intimacy. It also shows that you are proud of who you are and your life stories.

Give meaningful compliments.
While it’s great to tell someone they look nice, compliments solely based on looks can start to feel a bit shallow. Find something deeper that you like about them and communicate it. Something about their personality or a particular hobby they have.

Leave them wanting more
Don’t overdo yourself. You don’t have to tell all or pull out all the tricks on the first dates. Read the flow of the conversation and wrap things up when it seems appropriate. If things die down a bit early in the date, excuse yourself to the bathroom. That’ll give the two of you time to revamp and start a new conversation once your back. But by the end of the date, try leave some things unanswered. Surely there will be another date to pick up where you left off!

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