It’s easy to grow up thinking that one day you’ll randomly cross paths with the love of your life and sparks will fly, love at first sight. Sure, it happens for some, but let’s be realistic, most people don’t even look up from their phones anymore to even ignite the smallest spark. So why not take advantage of modern technology and sign up for online dating. If you’re feeling somewhat out of the look, follow these steps on how to online date.
1. First, know it takes time and dedication.
Finding someone who is compatible to go on a date with and possibly make a partner doesn’t happen overnight. You need to do your research. You need to search within yourself and reveal what it is that you’re looking for. Consider what type of dater you’re going to be. If you’re ready for a long-term relationship or if you’re just looking to meet new people and have some fun.
2. Set up your online profile with the help of a friend.
We can be our own worse enemies when it comes to describing yourself. Grab one of your good friends and let them help you set up your online profile. They will have a much more attractive, yet honest approach to describing you. They will have more words than you can even imagine for every part of your online dating profile. Also let them help you pick out the best profile pictures.
3. Try different dating apps.
First, choose a dating site that’s relevant to what you’re looking for. Don’t feel bad about being on multiple site. Give them a shot and eventually you’ll figure out with one is best for you. It depends on your personal preferences.
4. Really look at others’ profiles.
Let’s try not to judge a book by its cover on online dating sites. As important as it is to be physically attracted to someone, it’s not all that matters. Don’t just look at their pictures, read their profile. Check out their interests and hobbies. Be cautious about fake profiles.
5. Start messaging.
Don’t leave emails for a long period of time without responding. You won’t seem desperate if you respond quickly. You’re all in this together with a (somewhat) common goal.
6. Organize a small first date.
Think coffee or a drink. I know I’m going to sound like your parents here but meet in a public location. There are some people out there that are crazy AF. Better safe than sorry and all parties will feel more comfortable.
7. Stick to your gut.
If you are getting bad vibes from the get go, get the hell out. You shouldn’t ever feel uncomfortable or scared on your first dates. Feeling nervous is 100% normal, but if you’re getting negative vibes about the situation, finish it. Or maybe you’re not getting bad vibes, but you’re bored out of your mind. You have no duty to sit there and finish the date.
8. Make separate plans for later.
This is for multiple reasons, but mostly for two major ones. First, you won’t look clingy. Maybe the date is going great and you don’t want to finish it. Some people can come off too strong simply by suggesting another plan for after the original date. And second, just in case things aren’t going exactly how you planned or your date wants to extend the date but you’re just not up to it. Without having to lie, just tell them that you already have plans.
9. Offer to pay or share the bill.
It’s 2018 and no one person is obliged to pay the bill. Offer to pay and be straight forward and suggest splitting the check. If things went well, maybe you can let them as long as they let you get the next check on another date.
10. If you had a good time, let them know.
Whether it be at the end of the date or via a message afterwards, let them know you had fun. There’s no reason to hide your feelings or wait a certain amount of time to tell them. If you want to continue from where you left off, communicate it.
11. If the feelings weren’t mutual, learn from it and move on.
Unfortunately, we all don’t walk away from a date feeling the same way. You may have thought it went well, but the other person didn’t feel it like you did. Whatever the case may be, don’t take it personally. We’re (most of us) looking for something or someone that we know we can be with long-term. If there weren’t strong enough feelings on the first date, then a relationship probably wasn’t going to work out in the long run.
12. Feel free to take breaks.
You can easily deactivate your online account. Don’t feel like you constantly need to be chatting up new people or going on dates. Take a break from it if you’re feeling overwhelmed with it all or just a bit over it. You do you.