Love comes in all shapes and sizes, yet you find yourself still single. Have you ever considered that it’s not so much the other people, but in fact you? Sometimes you get stuck imagining something so perfect, that nothing seems good enough for you. It’s important that you stay safe on your dates, but you don’t need to brush them all off. Are you being too fussy when it comes to your dates? Here are some of the top signs you’re being too picky.
It’s been a while since you’ve had a long-term relationship.
First things first, you’ve not been steady with someone in a really long time… maybe not even at all. Dating is a learning process that should happen over a period of time. You shouldn’t be shutting down every option after the first couple of dates. Open up a bit and give them a chance. Your feelings will probably surprise you.
Your online dating profiles have lots of unread messages.
Whether it be matches or unread messages, you’ve left them there without responding. Maybe you don’t remember swiping right now, but either way you’ve been matched! Why not send them a message and chat online? You don’t have to rush into a first date in person.
You know you’re guilty of judging a book by its cover.
It’s so easy to do while online dating and a lot of the whole matching process is based on that. Which is fine I guess, but do you find yourself doing it on first dates as well. First impressions mean a lot, but maybe you’re taking it to heart too much. Don’t sweep them under the rug because you don’t like what they’re wearing. Maybe their friend dressed them up and its not their usual style. You just never know, and you shouldn’t shut down people so early in the game.
You have a long checklist.
And you should know what’s important to you in a relationship. But does you checklist have sub-sections with specific details? Perhaps you’ve taken the whole checklist thing too far. Try not to be so strict when it comes to your must-haves. If they fall into one or two categories, that’s great! Later on down the road they may fall into more… but you’ll have to go on more dates with them to find out.
You want love at first sight.
You’re a sucker for romantic movies and you’re just waiting for your head-over-heels moment. You want someone to sweep you off your feet within minutes of your first date and while this does happen for some luck SOBs out there, it’s not ideal. Come down from could nine and sink into reality. It’s totally possible to achieve that shoot for the stars, can’t-eat, can’t-sleep, world series kind of love, but usually it comes with time.
You make a list of pros and cons after your dates.
While I can 100% appreciate the sort of people who make lists for everything, this list is going to far. Try to focus more on the positive sides of the date. You can find something negative anywhere you go and it’s so easy to get hung up on. Stop making actual lists after every date and simply ask yourself if you had a good time.
You let the little things really get to you.
The way they laughed that one time. Their nose was twitching. Their fingernails. These are miniscule, superficial details. The little things don’t need to matter so much. Don’t let them get under your skin and distract you from the chemistry that exists (or could exist) between the two of you.
You don’t usually agree on second dates.
There are so many reasons why a first date doesn’t live up to its standards. People get nervous and make silly first date mistakes. Yet you find yourself almost always turning down another date. What you don’t know is that the second date is really where the magic happens. Your both more relaxed and are able to show your personality more.
Your friends have stopped asking.
At one point, your friends probably tried to set you up with other singles. Multiple times. But you’ve found a way to reject them every time. They’ve accepted you as their single friend and don’t ask anymore about your love life. They know you want to find love and they want the best for you, but they all agree that you’re being too picky.